Penny:高中英语写作之游记2

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编辑点评: 高中英语写作之游记2,在Penny老师的带领下一起学习英语游记怎么写,储存素材,掌握文章结构!

怎么写游记

罗列理由→挖掘深意→确定地点(前两点基础上)

 

头脑风暴     topic: Traveling    √Choice1 记叙文    Choice2 议论文 

记叙文:大多数人会选择写记叙文,但如果能够想到一个与众不同,令人印象深刻的地点,并最后在精神/感受层面拔高,文章就还不错。

议论文:好出彩,与众不同。旅行好/不好,出国游好/国内游好,注意提炼主题。

 

实例分析1

An unforgettable trip

I ever went to the yellow mountain October in 2003.then I fancied the beautiful prospect of

the mountain before I climbed up it and I longed for the doings.

The second day I got up at six and went to the bus at half past six, and we set out at seven from Nanjing. About at 1:00 pm, we arrived at the foot of the yellow mountain. Firstly we started

to have lunch, and we multiplied a cable car at the middle peak which people call it as liehua peak after we have a full food. Then we beginning to climb up really, when I reach the peak about four hours, I looked down at the perspectives and I forgot the position myself. However I saw the sunrise unforgettably in the second morning, and I thought of the old idiom: limitless landscapes at the dangerous pinnacles.

In short, I love beautiful rivers and mountains in our country. And I don't forget this trip.

问题:1很少有复合句结构;2地点大家都很熟悉,黄山,千篇一律难出彩;3语法错误(阴影处)About at 1:00 pm → At About 1:00 pm   reach→reached

注:语法错误多,印象分会降2-3分。

 

实例分析2

假如你上周末参加了某旅行社组织的所谓生态游,你觉得名不副实。请你根据把自己经历的这次生态游和对真正生态游的看法写出来。

生态游:在旅行当中亲近大自然。

例文1

Last weekend I went on an eco-travel with a travel agency. All the way we enjoyed the beautiful scenery and fresh air. But a few of us picked flowers as/while going sightseeing. Some even tried to catch the birds they saw. What was worse, many tourists threw rubbish here and there. The rubbish may do harm to wildlife there. I don’t think this is a true eco-travel. A true eco-travel is a tour that not only allows us to express our love for nature, but needs our responsibility as well. As we enjoy the beauty of nature, we should try our best to protect it. And we should also try to protect wildlife. A true eco-travel should be like this: take nothing away but your good memory; leave nothing behind but all the green trees and the clean water.

评析:文章更读起来更顺(语感,通过大量阅读获得),最后一句很好。

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